Wednesday, March 16, 2011

That's Not Fair!

I get so sick of hearing "But that's not FAAAAIIIIRRRRR!" with every little discrepancy that my kids notice. I love this quote. I actually used it on Aaron the other day. He gave me the classic "That's not FAAAAIIIIRRRR!" whine and I replied, "Well it's also not fair that you get to wear underwear. To make things fair, I think that you should have to wear diapers to bed like your brothers." That shut him right up...it was great! You just CAN'T treat each kid the same!
"Parents often worry about damaging their children's self-esteem, and one of the biggest complaints or worries is whether they're treating their children "fairly." Now, this is the number-one tool in the "Kids' Arsenal of Guilt Trips." All children were born with this arsenal. So your child will often whip out her favorite tool and howl, "But that's not FAAAAAAIIIIIIRRRRR!"
Let me share with you a little story told by actress Marlo Thomas. Some dedicated, wonderful parents had a son and named him Ralph. Then they had another child and decided that they had to be absolutely fair, so they named her Ralph. Then they had a third baby and named her Ralph too--just to be fair. They wanted to be fair to all their children, so when it was time for one child to do homework, they make them all do it--dumping books in the baby's crib. All the kids had to wear diapers, because that was fair. All the kids had to take long naps, just to be fair. All had to wear braces to be completely fair to all.
Time goes on, and of course the kids are complaining. The parents say, "Where did we go wrong? We treated you exactly the same! Isn't that fair?" The children said they didn't want to be treated fairly and that maybe, once in a while, the parents could treat them differently." - Merrilee Browne Boyack, The Parenting Breakthrough
 Kaylee starting young..."But that's not FAAAAIIIIRRRR!"

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